There I Finally Said It...

I maybe a talkative and loud person but there are things i can't share to others and just keep them to myself- mostly those bad feelings that i'm encountering once in a while , those 'super' good feelings i currently have that i'm afraid to lose and those things that i think are premature or things that need not be known.



-it's been 3 days now since i had a 'tampuhan' with my kuya. we had a misunderstanding over just a little thing he might thought. But to me, it's a big thing. I never texted nor chatted him after that. Masama talaga ang loob ko, i even told this to our mom yesterday. Naghahanap ako ng kakampi. hehe.


-i was stressed out at the same time happy the past days, my younger brother is here on a visit! stressed out because i feel like i'm his mother. i have to take care of everything while he's here. i consider myself responsible but i'm really afraid of responsibility. i don't seek it but i can deal with it in time of needs. on the other hand, i'm happy for i got to spend quality time with him here. i love the idea of being the 'ate' to our bunso, he's so mabait kasi at masunurin - in born yata sa kanya. :-) he's only here for a short time so i wanted him to enjoy his stay here.


-i have an immigrant application to another country. this is my alternative plan in the future ie. to be able to live & work there then eventually petition my mother. i really don't discuss it to anyone, only very few close friends know about it. recently, i was informed by my agency that i still need to wait for few more years for the long-awaited visa. it's all okay with me though.

-i never had a boyfriend since my last relationship in 2004 (note: my ex-bf happens to be my highschool classmate, i'm really happy to know that he's now a happily married man with one son). others would think i must have been hurt so bad in the past that i turn into a bitter person and a man-hater. haha. i'm exaggerating. the truth is i completely forgotten the past hurts, i became a much better and stronger person because of the experience.

-i had a friend who I met here in Dubai. i had treated him more than a friend ie. more like of a brother. some of my friends even made an issue of our friendship at the start. they cannot believe the truth that we can really just be good friends with each other- nothing more, nothing less.

just when i thought our almost 3 years of friendship is stronger than ever and can stand the test of times, it was all ruined by a single but very destructive statement from him in Nov 2009. i felt i was the aggrieved party and deserved an explanation for his action. but i had never heard from him since then.

to this person (you know who you are), i'm still glad you came into my life. thank you for all the good and not-so-good memories we shared together. i really wish you well in life. i hope you have found the true happiness and peace that you've always looking for. I miss you friend, especially when i'm blogging. wala na akong critic at wala na din akong mapagtanungan tungkol dito. lastly, i wanted to tell you that i already forgiven you sa lahat ng mga bagay na nagawa mo na nakapagdulot ng sama ng loob sa akin. clean slate na ito, wala ka nang kaso sa kin. hehe. isa pa pala, after we parted ways nalaman ko na you deleted me in your blog roll! nakasakit ka dito ah. Napatawad na rin kita. :-)