There She Goes (Again)...

Someone made me happy today. In fact, I still have that smile in my face while writing this. My tita MG is the one responsible! Tita MG is one of my favourite titas (from mother side). She's very fun-loving and easy to be with. She's very eloquent and can be a PR manager. In fact, she was the campaign manager of my Tito (her brother) when he run for councilor in our town the last election (much to her delight, he won). She's very good at it. This might also be the reason why she's very successful in her chosen field. She's a self-made woman. She's an entrepreneur at the same time a good wife and a good mother. She's one of those few that i look up to.

I am definitely close to my Tita MG. She's really very kind to me and to my mother. She's always there for us most especially during the hardest time of our lives ie. when we lose our father. She had helped us emotionally and financially. I'm just so grateful that i have her in my life.

Before I left for Dubai in N0v 2005, i treated my mom to a Boracay trip since i had a free tickets from my previous company-an airline company. My tita MG even joined us in that trip. Her first time away from her family yet she went with us all the same for the love of me. :-) (sabi niya ito sa akin..hehe). I would like to add, that trip turned out in the end to be an all-expense paid vacation courtesy of my tita MG. She's really so generous to me and to my family.

I so love my Tita MG! I bought her a priceless watch as pasalubong when i had my vacation in the Philippines. I can't buy for everyone so i asked her to keep it as a secret (to avoid selosan sa ibang titas). I can always drop to her house or anywhere she is whenever I feel like it. Her door is always open for me. But there is one thing i'm not comfortable about her, she's a match-maker. She probably matched all my then single cousins to her 'contacts'..haha..i joked her one time, let love comes naturally in our heart, wag pilitin. She answered, she's just guiding us and trying to clear our way towards it. She knows my position to her match-making, the reason why she never matched me to anyone. Much to my pleasure. :-)

And so i wonder yet so happy when i got a text message from her today. Her very first text message since my vacation in May 2009. Her message goes like this (translated in Tagalog):

"hi tin, musta ka na? si tita mg mo ito. meron akong ipapakilala sa'yo. sige na, para pag-uwi mo meron ka ng prince charming.hehe...si atty jq...reply ka ha..mis u."

I had really a good laugh in her message. There she goes again, that's all i can say. :-)

Torn Between Two 'Lovers'...

The First Love

I first met him in April 2007. He came into my life just exactly when I needed him most. It was not a whirlwind romance for I've been longing to have him since I started working here in Dubai. One thing I love most about him is that he's always has a helping hand to everyone. He's never selfish.
We got along together. I was happy having him in my life. I know he was too. But there are really good things that don't last forever. It was in 3rd quarter of year 2009 when we became strange with one another. He got tired, someone told me. :-( I had learned to do the right thing, I set him free.



The Second Love

No one could ever replace my first love in my heart, that's what I thought. On Dec 02, 2009, I decided to open my heart once again. It's too early to tell but I know he's the one for me. He brings joy in my life.



Just when I'm happily enjoying my life with my second love, my first love suddenly came to the scene. I was so confused for the feelings I had with him came back all at once. I was in a dilemma . Who will I choose, my first love or the second love?





The Decision

I'm talking about my laptops. My first laptop is an HP brand (purchased on April 2007; cost AED3,500). When i resigned from my 1st company, my boss had given me a bonus. I bought a laptop as a remembrance plus it was really a necessity to have one if you're an OFW. Its mother board or hard disk got damage I heard. I sent it for repair but the quote was too high (repair cost AED900). Better to buy a new one.

My second laptop is Toshiba brand (purchased on December 2009; cost AED3,450). I sacrificed my want of having an iPhone over my need of having a laptop. I can't afford to have both at the same time. (i self-regulate my personal expenses). The iPhone can wait. Besides, what i really need is a laptop because of blogging. :-)

But a misunderstanding happened, they repaired my 1st laptop without my go signal. It is now working perfectly. AB was the one who had a contact to the repair shop. Since she needed to leave the country, I had no choice but to pay for the repair (negotiated repair cost AED700). Otherwise, I could never get my laptop and just consider it lost.

I'd missed my 1st laptop so much that I'd prefer to use it over the new one. A cousin of mine who lives in Abu Dhabi (CP) got so interested in it. One laptop is enough for me so I agree to give my 1st laptop to him at minimal cost. But i wanted to change my mind in the last minute. i wanted to have my first laptop also. I told my cousin about it. But he personally visited me today. He travelled for more than three hours just to get the laptop so I was convinced he needs it more than I do. I gave in. I let him took my 1st laptop. I told him he should take care of it. It's really very important to me. He promised.

Isang Istoryang Mahirap Ikwento

Bilang isang OFW, pinaka-aabangan ko ang araw ng aking pag-uwi sa Pinas. Sobrang excited ako na makita ko muli ang aking pamilya. Sinusulit ko talaga ang bawa't araw na nandoon ako kasama ng aking mga mahal sa buhay. Lahat excited sa muling pagsama-sama ng pamilya.

Sa darating na Agosto ko pa balak magbakasyon para sa taong ito. Gusto ko kasing nandun ako kasama ng nanay ko sa birthday niya. Nagbabalak ako ng isang bonggang-bonggang date para sa aking mahal na ina. Gustong-gusto kong makapamasyal kami sa Hongkong ng aking nanay. First time namin pareho mamasyal sa labas ng bansa. Excited na nga ako. Nabanggit ko ito sa kanya para mai-ready na ang passport niya. Medyo alanganin siya kasi iniisip niya ang magagastos. Very practical kasi ang aking ina. Sa kanya ko siguro namana ito. :-) Kaya naman ang gagawin ko is 'surprise gift' ko na lang ito sa kanya. Bago pa lang ako uuwi ay magpapa-book at magbabayad na ako para hindi na siya makahindi. hehe. Ngayon pa lang ay pinag-iipunan ko na ito para maisakatuparan ko ang plano kong ito.

____________________________________________________________________


Nahihirapan na ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ikwento ang gusto kong sabihin sa ngayon. :-) Umuwi na kasi sa Pinas kanina ang isang taong malapit sa akin (si AB). Napakabilis ng mga pangyayari. Nalulungkot ako dahil medyo matatagalan pa ang kanyang pagbalik dito. Pero di bale, sigurado magiging masaya naman siya dahil makakasama na niya muli ang kanyang mahal na anak. Kay Ate AB, i know magiging okay naman ang lahat sa'yo dyan sa Pinas. Basta, kitakits na lang ulit tayo sa pagbabalik mo. See you in May! :-)

More About My Brothers...

I wish I had a sister (sometimes). I'm thinking she would surely understand me better. I could share my innermost thoughts and my deepest desires to her. She would be my 'super-ultra-mega-over' bestfriend forever.


But what can I do? All I have now are my two brothers who are exactly opposite with each other. I became the middle person eversince our youngest brother came into this world. I am the balancing factor in their lives. And I will remain for the rest of our lives. I got no choice just as they have no choice but to accept me as their sole sister. :-)


My Kuya- i'm still not talking to him (our 'tampuhan' is now on its 6th day). i'm ignoring him in ym. hehe. i ask my younger brother to chat our kuya instead, as if i was not with him. :-). pero nakikibasa naman ako. i told my younger brother, i don't want to talk to our kuya. naiinis ako sa kanya for not being true to his words. he promised me something but looked like he's just playing with me. i want to tell my kuya, i'm not a kid anymore na madadaan sa kanyang 'pambobola'! of course i can't tell him that, edi nagalit siya sa akin. Takot ako dun. :-)

Our Bunso- i got no problem with him staying here, mabait kasi talaga itong kapatid ko na ito. i feel so protective of him. though our age difference is only one year, feel na feel ko talaga ang pagiging 'ate' ko sa kanya.

Both have their own family now. I cried when my kuya got married in 2000. i cried harder when our bunso followed him in 2007. On both occassions, i felt like they abandoned me, they left me all alone.

Both have no idea that I am blogging about them. That I'm making a 'drama' sa kanilang mga buhay-buhay. Haha. Pagtatawanan talaga ako nung dalawa. But I'm very confident they will never find my blog. Super lowtech kasi pamilya namin. YM lang ang alam ng dalawa. :-)

If ever they would ever read this one day (by a twist of fate), i wanted them both to know that i'm blogging them because i think about them everyday. i'm blogging them because they are my inspirations.

To My Brothers,

You are still The Best Brothers in the whole world! Thank you for trying to understand me. Sorry for being 'madrama' sometimes (like this time). I love you both!

Sincerely yours,

Your Sister

There I Finally Said It...

I maybe a talkative and loud person but there are things i can't share to others and just keep them to myself- mostly those bad feelings that i'm encountering once in a while , those 'super' good feelings i currently have that i'm afraid to lose and those things that i think are premature or things that need not be known.



-it's been 3 days now since i had a 'tampuhan' with my kuya. we had a misunderstanding over just a little thing he might thought. But to me, it's a big thing. I never texted nor chatted him after that. Masama talaga ang loob ko, i even told this to our mom yesterday. Naghahanap ako ng kakampi. hehe.


-i was stressed out at the same time happy the past days, my younger brother is here on a visit! stressed out because i feel like i'm his mother. i have to take care of everything while he's here. i consider myself responsible but i'm really afraid of responsibility. i don't seek it but i can deal with it in time of needs. on the other hand, i'm happy for i got to spend quality time with him here. i love the idea of being the 'ate' to our bunso, he's so mabait kasi at masunurin - in born yata sa kanya. :-) he's only here for a short time so i wanted him to enjoy his stay here.


-i have an immigrant application to another country. this is my alternative plan in the future ie. to be able to live & work there then eventually petition my mother. i really don't discuss it to anyone, only very few close friends know about it. recently, i was informed by my agency that i still need to wait for few more years for the long-awaited visa. it's all okay with me though.

-i never had a boyfriend since my last relationship in 2004 (note: my ex-bf happens to be my highschool classmate, i'm really happy to know that he's now a happily married man with one son). others would think i must have been hurt so bad in the past that i turn into a bitter person and a man-hater. haha. i'm exaggerating. the truth is i completely forgotten the past hurts, i became a much better and stronger person because of the experience.

-i had a friend who I met here in Dubai. i had treated him more than a friend ie. more like of a brother. some of my friends even made an issue of our friendship at the start. they cannot believe the truth that we can really just be good friends with each other- nothing more, nothing less.

just when i thought our almost 3 years of friendship is stronger than ever and can stand the test of times, it was all ruined by a single but very destructive statement from him in Nov 2009. i felt i was the aggrieved party and deserved an explanation for his action. but i had never heard from him since then.

to this person (you know who you are), i'm still glad you came into my life. thank you for all the good and not-so-good memories we shared together. i really wish you well in life. i hope you have found the true happiness and peace that you've always looking for. I miss you friend, especially when i'm blogging. wala na akong critic at wala na din akong mapagtanungan tungkol dito. lastly, i wanted to tell you that i already forgiven you sa lahat ng mga bagay na nagawa mo na nakapagdulot ng sama ng loob sa akin. clean slate na ito, wala ka nang kaso sa kin. hehe. isa pa pala, after we parted ways nalaman ko na you deleted me in your blog roll! nakasakit ka dito ah. Napatawad na rin kita. :-)

Broken Promises

I hate it when someone breaks a promise, it's really a big deal to me. I have written this sentiment in my October post - Word of Honor. I'm trying to understand and accept that not everyone can live with their promises and I'm not excluded.



For an exercise, i made four (4) easy/possible-to-do promises to myself that I need to fulfill before the year 2009 ends. Unfortunately & never intentionally, i broke all these promises! And i'm not happy with it. :-( Here's a recap:


1) read a good book in a coffee shop alone!
2) watch movie alone!
- i was all set and ready to do these tasks after Christmas. i had a good book with me 'Handle With Care' by Jodi Picoult (which JC had gifted me on Christmas). the mall is just near our residence. there's a lot of coffee shops plus cinemas inside! my plans were to see the movie 'Avatar', go to 'Starbucks' after, order 1 Mocha Frappucino and 1 slice of cheese cake, read my book, go home and be proud of myself for a job well done. however, for so many reasons which are unacceptable of course (for i do believe if there's a will, there's a way), i did not materialize these plans.
3) not to be a KJ, say yes to all my friends' invitations to go out if there's no conflict with my schedules- i had managed to keep whatever promises i made with my friends except for that one fateful day.
4) go on a 'romantic' date- this promise became sensational issue with my busmates/officemates/friends. haha. they're really made an effort to help me fulfill this. to make sure i am seriously into it, we made an agreement that if ever i did not have one i will all treat them in "KFC'! We all went to KFC last Dec 30, 2009 for two celebrations: one is celebration of my being single and the other one is celebration of being 'double' of PC. ( they remembered i had completed the 'Simbang Gabi' so they're wondering what had happened and said, maybe parating na daw na-delay lang ng unti. hehe. they didn't know it's not even part of my wishlist, just not yet i wish. my mom will not be happy to know these- that i'm really not interested looking, that i'm considering to be single forever, that i am starting to forget my dream of having a family of my own, that i am okay and happy with all these thoughts. that i plan to tell her seriously about it come my 30th birthday on 2011. I do want to give her 'grandchildren' c/o me and fulfill her wish to see me happily married but it's not in my hands. I hope she can wholeheartedly accept it if this is my fate and destiny.)



I was very confident that I can atleast performed 50% of these promises (2 out of 4). But all I'm taking with me now are broken promises. I should really take my word seriously next time.

Special Prayer Intentions

Dear Lord,

Salamat po sa lahat ng biyayang ipinagkakaloob Ninyo sa akin at sa aking mga mahal sa buhay. Maraming salamat sa walang sawang paggabay sa akin sa araw-araw. Kayo po ang aking pinagkukunan ng lakas. Maging mabuti po sana akong tagasunod Ninyo.

Humihingi po ako ng tawad sa mga kasalanang aking nagawa. Lagi ko po sanang isaisip at isapuso ang mga aral at turo Ninyo. Mahal na mahal ko po Kayo.

Nais ko pong ilapit sa Inyo ang aking niloob sa ngayon. Alam kong Kayo lang ang makakapagpagaan ng aking nararamdaman. Salamat po sa Inyong pagmamahal.

1) nawa'y maging maayos ang pagproseso sa inaantay ng tatlong taong malapit sa akin (MP, CB, NS)
2) makahanap na po sana ng trabaho dito sa Dubai ang dalawang taong malapit din sa akin (AB, ES)

Gabayan Nyo po sila. Bigyan Nyo po sila ng lakas para harapin at malampasan ang kanilang pinagdaraanan ngayon.

Muli, Salamat po sa lahat lahat. Amen.